You Don't Deserve Happiness

That's right. I said it. You don't deserve happiness. When did we decide we deserved happiness anyhow? That it was our God-given right? That it was an entitlement?

Americans will no doubt argue that the Declaration of Independence entitles them to the "pursuit of happiness". First of all, note that the right to pursue happiness is different from the right to happiness itself. Further note that happiness does not refer to an emotional state or some other form of self-interest, but that it has a much broader sense. If you have a longer attention span than I do, then you can read this wonderful article on the topic.

"Freedom for everyone! And by 'freedom' I mean fried chicken and prostitutes."

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's continue.

Over the last several decades, people have come to interpret this "right" in the most selfish way possible. You have the ability to be happy; it's not a right. If you want to be happy, go ahead, be happy. Right now. Do it. What's stopping you? 

I'll tell you what's stopping you. It's you. There's nothing else there. I don't know where we got this idea that there's someone or something standing in the way of our happiness, or the ever-popular notion that we're missing something but that once we get it - oh boy! - we'll be happy at last! It's probably a myriad of factors, but heading the list are trends in psychology and marketing (which are so closely related that they should not be in bed together, but they are).

If you don't feel something's missing in your life, what will urge you to climb the corporate ladder, go to the gym, buy a new car, a new pair of shoes, a house, an iPod and so on? If we all just sat around on our cushions meditating, eating unprocessed foods and wearing the same clothes year in and year out, the mega-corporations would be out of business. And allegedly that means the world economy would collapse. I'm not saying we shouldn't buy anything or do anything. And I'm certainly not saying we should all renounce our possessions and join a hippy commune. What I'm saying is, most of the shit we buy we don't need and most of the shit we do is completely unnecessary. Speaking of shit...

Finally, a fuzzy toilet seat cover! No more cold-ass bathroom breaks for this gal!

What's devastating is the depth of the delusion that happiness is something to be attained rather than something that can be cultivated in oneself. Advertisers have gotten so good at this, you and I don't even realize we're being fooled. Everybody likes to think he's immune to advertising. We all like to think we're "smarter" than that. For example, nobody (or at least nobody with a modicum of common sense) will consciously equate a fuzzy toilet seat cover with personal fulfillment. But it has nothing to do with intelligence. Advertising accesses parts of your brain that function on instinct and over which you have zero control. You may end up buying this leopard print toilet seat cover out of shear boredom! And I wouldn't judge you if you did. Because we're all in the same proverbial boat (or toilet bowl, as it were).

There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I don't have a TV, I don't read the news, and yet that smelly garbage seeps in there. Despite living in a Central European country, I can't walk down the street without being bombarded by ads - at bus stops, on the sides of buses, inside buses (the transportation authority is a filthy whore), billboards popping up everywhere (the only way to avoid them would be to gouge your eyes out), not to mention the Supreme Master Internet (I can't let go of this one - I just can't). The list is endless.

So what's the solution? A famous Buddhist monk (as "famous" as a monk can be) once said:  "If you have something bad smelling in your pocket, wherever you go it will smell bad. Don’t blame it on the place."

Ajahn Chah

Seems obvious enough. Whatever you have inside is what you experience. So, for example, if you hate your job because your boss is a dick, or if you hate your boyfriend because he's a dick, go ahead and try getting a new boss/boyfriend (hopefully they're two separate people) and see just how satisfied you are after one year. I say one year because you can't base your satisfaction on the first few weeks or months because, like everything new, that time has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi quality to it (a.k.a. the honeymoon period). But eventually your habits (your dick vision coupled with your innate desire to surround yourself with dicks) will get the best of you. But instead of thinking "Gee, I'm struggling with the same problem here. Maybe there's something about myself that needs to change," you will likely feel sorry for yourself and say things like "Why does this always happen to me?!" or the classic "Life is so unfair!" Sound familiar? If not, congratulations - you're more mature than the general population.

Happiness is something you can cultivate. And it's entirely an inside job. Entirely. This is assuming your basic material needs are being met. Just to be clear, by basic I mean you have food, water, shelter and medicine available. If you have these things, consider yourself lucky (because most of the world doesn't) and try some meditation. Most people don't look to meditation for happiness. It seems like the most useless thing you could possibly do with your precious time. But if you ask me (which I realize you haven't) it's the best investment you can make. It's a long-term investment but with guaranteed returns. That's right, guaran-fucking-teed! You can't lose!

So why are we all still chasing the next thing if everything we need is right here right now? Because modern society is geared towards making us go, go, go! In fact, this is one of the reasons it's so difficult to stand still. Everything is against you. Not just society, but your very own Brain! Yes, I know you thought he was your friend. But he's not. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing I tell you!

Oh, Internet, what can' t you do?!

Your Brain will work against you. Hell, he's working against you right now! He wants instant gratification, not long-term satisfaction. Quick fixes, not reliable solutions. Results without the requisite toil and trouble. I'm sorry to break this to you, but this is a Fantasy (with a capital F). Except we don't believe it's a Fantasy because we've been fed otherwise, ever since media threw ethics out the window (or should I say boob tube) because, you know, ethics just get in the way of making money.

I've noticed my own attention span diminish over the years. Granted it could be due to age. But I think it's fair to say that the over-stimulation caused by omnipresent advertising and other flashing lights and pictures (which, let's face it, are all just forms of advertising) has contributed considerably. Of course, my dream of living in a shack on a mountain with a husky, a goat and some chickens will likely never be realized. And it doesn't have to be. Because like I said earlier, I can cultivate happiness right here right now, despite being surrounded by monsters of every creed and color (including the ones that live in my head). Wow, I'm glad I realized this before I ran off into the mountains, never to be seen again!

Happiness not guaranteed. Goat sold separately.

Yes, I can make a mountain shack in my own mind. It may sound like I've crossed the line into crazy town, and maybe I have, but I don't have any better solutions. This is it. Me and a mental mountain shack. Forever. Or at least for the time being.

And I've never been happier. Case. Closed.